I wonder if eating chocolates really does makes one happy, coz I've been eating more chocolates these few days than I've had the past 2 months I think. =/ Not like I'm a fan of chocolates but yup, as long as my mouth and stomach love it, who cares anyway?

Ha, think I shall be a 宅男 from now on. Juz stay at home, study, ready books, surf net, play computer games and maybe ocassionally go play some bball and jog ba. Lol. Sounds like good life to me. Ha. Dynasty Warrior 6 rox! =D

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Fail, failing failure. Love it when you keep stumbling down the road of life. It's like you stand up juz to fall again. There must be something wrong about me. Something missing, something I lack that makes me so loserly. Starting to hate all this shit.

Forget it. It's juz another bad day. Tml I'll put back that mask and things will turn out like usual.

Wanted to wake up @ 4am to study but failed miserablely and ended getting out of bed at 7am. Finished my presentation and the whole night, it seems like while I was supposedly to be sleeping, a part of my brain has nuclear decay equations and charts floating around, and images of the presentation slides juz hovering around. Woke up with another fucking migrane. Screw it man, I'm going to school now to study my thermo exam later. Sucks to be me.

Finally packed that little guy into that little book and sent him away. I mean, that's what he wanted, isn't it? I wonder what lies ahead for him but whether he comes back or not, I think I'm gonna start getting used to being without him. If I could, I'll pack my stuffs and go away somewhere too.

Haha, saw this interesting quote while researching for my presentation.

"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you that mine are still greater." - Albert Einstein

Lol. Win liao. Now I can't use the excuse that Maths is hindering my path in learning Physics.

Viva my last experiment report with Prof. A nice chat with him, I guess. I was really worried about this report as I TOTALLY graspe nth of the theorywise. I juz cannot see why it happens and the websites that I read up on sounds TMD incomplete. Yet, after VIVA-ing, the questions I thought I didn't really know, I've knew them already. As in I got the idea of how it works but the detailed mechanism is the one that's lacking. Hmmm...I enjoy such chatting sessions (or rather VIVA) coz it's through the interactions, the "arguing" part and the explanations from the Prof did I get to learn much. Beats sitting at the lecture hall and scratching my head.

Then it juz struck me about my learning habit/style. When I don't know something, I look for answers. Then in turn, the answers leads to more questions because it's another field that I do not really understand that well. And then I go search for answers and there comes more questions and the cycle goes on. Somehow, somewhat I'll juz deviate from what I'm studying to another branch. Haha. It's that something inside me that cannot stand not knowing completely. I can't juz take the answer for granted and boy, if I don't find that underlying principle, it does kills me. Lol. Maybe that's something good and bad. Bad bad bad coz I'll never really study what I'm suppose to for exams and that means screwed. Good coz it increases my data base. =D Whatever it is now, I'm studying for the sake of knowledge liao. Hha. Lovin it. =))

Woke up with a weird dream (which I always did) and yup, haha. Wat ZR said is really true ba. When combine with Kiwi's words, I think I managed to come up with my own reasonings (while I was sleeping). Girls dun like emo guys and I realise when guys go all out for that girl, it usually fails. Why? Coz people never really appreciate things that doesn't come with any resistance? After I finish that task I think that'll close that chapter for a moment. Ha. Of ya, talking about chapter, THERE'S GONNA BE A DEAR BOYS ACT III. WTF. The author had to end Act II even before the highlight games. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I waited for months for that comic to come out and it's written "End". I gave that =O face to Jun and cursed after seeing that ending. T_T Another long wait.

Well, back to the main topic. I'm gonna work towards a specialty in my area ba - Nuclear and Particle Physics. Of course Astrophysics will always be that interesting area that move me towards studying Physics. Ha, imagined that I become good nuclear scientist and kanna kidnapped by some terrorist grp. Lol. At least I can be proud to say then I'm somebody worth their attention and effort. Haha. So now, it's time to work on those knowledge and perhaps, I might see some new light in those mess of equations. =>

Zherui is Da man. No wonder we're buddies. Something that's so obvious but I juz never fking see it. Happiness does not come after love. It's the opposite. Happiness is something that you tag people and then, if something happens, like love, it's juz a bonus. To be able to tag people, first must be happy. Ha. Alright, the goal of 2009 is to throw away all the emos and negative cb thoughts and juz simply, be really happy. Ha. The happy part should be easy coz I'm a super efficient self entertainer. Ha. I juz need to learn to not try so hard and follow the norms end up tt emo. Juz be myself and everything else juz fk care. =) Let's find back tt clown in me. =))

Heard this Korean song and finally looked up the English translation of the lyrics, which I think is really quite nice. Haha. Ok, I'm juz bored from studying QM in the wee hours of the early morning and that song juz happened to be playing on my itunes. -_-

I think I - Byul

그럴리 없다고 아닐꺼라고 믿었죠
It wasn't possible, so I believed it wasn't true
내가 그댈 사랑한단 이 말도 안되죠
Me loving you, these words don't even make sense
괜한 질투일꺼라고 내가 외로운가보다고
I'm probably just jealous, I guess I'm getting lonely
자신을 속여봤지만 이제 더는 난 감출 수가 없는걸요
I hid my feelings before but I just can't do it anymore

우린 안어울린다고 친구 그게 딱 좋다고
Maybe we are not suited to each other It would be good if we are just friends
하나부터 열개 도대체 뭐 한개라도 맞는게 없는데
From one to ten, we never agree on anything How can we have a relationship?
어떻게 사귈 수있냐고 말도 안돼는 얘기라고
People say we won't be able to do it
말하며 둘러 댔지만 이제더는 난 그러기가 싫은걸요
I've been surrounded by those words and I don't want to be anymore.

(Bridge)
난 몰랐죠 그대라는걸 Woo 왜 못봤죠 바로 앞인데
I didn't realize how I felt about you, Why couldn't I see? It was right in front of me
그동안 이렇게 바로 내곁에 있었는데 왜 이제서야 사랑이 보이는건지
That whole time you were right next to me Why is it now that I finally see that it is love?

(Chorus)
I think I love you 그런가봐요
I think I love you that's how it seems
Cause I miss you 그대만 없으면
Cause I miss you when you're not around
난 아무 것도 못하고 자꾸 생각나고 이런걸 보면 아무래도
I can't do anything except think about you If I look at how things are I know
I'm falling for you 난 몰랐지만
I'm falling for you, I didn't realize it but
Now I need you 어느샌가 내 맘
Now I need you, somehow deep in my heart it grew
깊은 곳에 아주 크게 자리잡은 그대의 모습을 이젠 보아요
Now all I want to do is take care of you

Tired tired tired. Studying and revising all the modules are starting to kill me. So tired and my headache would force me to drop everything and go to sleep at around 10 plus 11. And sleep...sleep has never been so disruptive before. Having lotsa fast paced and weird dreams and often not, would wake up at many intervals throughout the night. Wake up having felt like my mind hadn't even rested at all. =/ Arggg.... I need a good rest but time is juz against me. T_T