Saw the kids around me in my daily life. Suddenly realise that I've grown up. =S Guess being a kid is much better.

No worries. No responsibility. Their smiles and laughter are exceptionally happier. To them, at that moment, at the time is what that matters. Who cares about what happened in the past or what's going to happen in the future, the most important is what's happening NOW. Juz as I thought I was growing older and wiser, the kids seems to have much more wisdom than me in how life should be lived. They don't dwell on the things, once it's over it's over. They never let obstacles get them down. Although they might sit down and cry when they fall, after a while, they'll juz pick themselves (or someone pick them up) and they'll be running all over the shop again. They're never afraid to try new thing. So what if they fail? Try again! We, the supposdly more matured bunch, seems to be afraid of this and that coz failing is such a disgraceful thing, a no pride thing. We juz give ourselves unnecessary worries. Yup. Gonna start living with the attitude of a kid. C'mon people. Juz start off by smiling and laughing for no particular reason. Who says we need a reason to be happy? =D

"Tomorrow" - Avril Lavigne

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just don't

Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

Been 1 week ++ in work and somewhat still feel very lost. Depression setting in. I need a clearer picture of what happening, what I can expect and what I can hope to achieve.

LSA approved, waiting for medical checkup and interview. Suddenly wondering whether I should really sign on considering the fact of the down in my army life lately. Sign on I'll most probably get posted out. Don't know. Tired of lotsa things. Wished that...never mind. Hate relying on others coz that makes me feel helpless when there's no one around.

If only...

Since a week I've commissioned? Juz finished comms ball last night. Humm...time seems to pass by fast. New unit, new environment, new job. Guess won't be writing much here coz shld be no time lah. Heard that at my new unit, officers almost get their weekends burnt frequently, work till 3-4am in the morning and have no time to apply for leave. Haha, song lah.

Wrote something to someone. Got a reply. Heartening but yet... Realised that there's really a lot alot of thing not within our control, not within our short hands can reach. It's not a matter of how hard you try also or how much effort you put in but also a lot of combination of other stuffs. Starting to learn to not take it so hard if things don't come my way. Idealistic thoughts, don't ever give up on them. That's what she wrote back. Humm...somewhat feel tired of having idealistic thoughts. Especially everything when I naively thought things will turn out this way, reality has to wack me in the head and says "WAKE UP!" Yup, in a way I should. Let go of those areas where my naive thoughts won't work and continue holding on to those that'll keep me happy and going. HAha.

Humm...still feeling very sian. Lost sight of all directions and purpose suddenly. Seems to be walking around aimlessly. Maybe, I need somemore time to locate them again. Lost.

Humm...since cck recommended me to do, might as well for fun.

4 things that make me smile
1) Stupid thoughts in my mind
2) Great teamwork in a game of bball
3) Feeding that cookhouse cat
4) Actually, I prefer laughin coz I think I don't look tt gd when I smile. =O

4 ways to win my heart
1) Spend a few hours of heart-to-heart talks
2) Whip up a few good dishes or food
3) Makes me feel appreciated
4) Juz be yourself

4 things I believe
1) My own core values
2) Emotions and feelings are better left unsaid
3) Working hard and earning lotsa money to give my parents a comfortable retired lifestyle
4) Finding and being able to protect that special something or someone


4 things I'm afraid of
1) Losing people and things that I treasure
2) I'll lose myself
3) Unpredicable human nature
4) Falling in love

4 things/people i want to see right now
1) A golden retriever pup (and it's mine!!!)
2) Everyone around me is happy and safe
3) My pink IC
4) Inner peace and serenity

4 people who should do this
1) Wee Boon
2)Seng Kiat
3) Junlin
4) Jiansheng

ACPC over. The sword. It seemed heavier than normal when I received it over from the General. I looked at it and somewhat, the sword seems to be a benchmark, a point in my life to tell me that "hey, you should be an adult from now on. Be more matured." Suddenly realised, 1 more week and there'll be no more 3 white bars on my shoulder anymore, instead, it will be replaced with a single black bar. Responsibility.

Reading "Bleach" lately. Nice comic I must say. A lot of things that we do, we don't really have to have a reason for them each right? Then what we're livin here for? To protect something important to us, to fight for something important. Maybe tt's why life is worth living for, worth goin on for, coz everyone of us will find that something important to us - be it a person or an inanimate object or juz simply, a belief.