Deviance and Society

Studying Sociology definites makes me see more to the things happening around in the society more than a random and individual event. The social forces are actually too great and pressurizing to make even the toughest warriors down on their knees and conform.

Unhappiness within myself seems to come from the invisible pressure and expectations that I have failed to meet from society which deemed me in its eyes as a failure and deviant. So why do people conform? So as not to be a social outcast? To maintain social solidatory?

Undeniablely, humans have always been a pack tribe. We do not work alone, since prehistoric times. Those that go solo usually die under the forces of nature and thus, teamwork and strong coummunity bonds are symbols of survival.

Crap, why the fck am I even mumbling about such things? Back to studying for the test tml.

向命运低头?

Lately having this super sian feeling, resultin in the zero motivation that I'm having. Suddenly wondering, am I starting to give in to fate? Realising maybe I have not much affinity for studying, or is it really juz that I'm not cut for reading Physics. Sometimes not doing well seriously have a slow poisoning effect in me. Not that I realise it immediately but it's juz slowly eating my confidence away that when I knew what was happening, everything juz seemed too late.

Seriously wondering if one can survive on interests and passions in Singapore. A place where failing seems not to be an option. A place where the elites trive.

Sometimes juz wondering why. Not like I never study nor work hard for something but it juz seems like I'm always the one getting the crap scores. Like I said too boon, getting sian lately, coz it juz seems like every aspect of my life is a failure that makes me really wonder wtf am I doing. Alright. What higher being out there or whatever fate there is, juz give me all your best shot.

I'm survive. I'll show you.

Hmmm...think that this has became top song on my list coz I've juz been repeating this one track everyday? Was intro-ed to this canto song during the Jacky Cheung's concert when he sang this song which he wrote for his wife. Cool. Wait till I have a chance to sing it to the person I've fallen in love with. =O Ok, then I guess I'm only stuck with singin it in Kbox. =/

<<讲你知>>

看你背面我身体欠自然
看你正面两手失控在颤
看你笑脸我开心数夜数天
与你说话我哑口会无言
与你碰面我体温会乱变
与你贴面一世的经典

若你肯再拥抱紧一点
我愿意用我十年
去换我共你十天 ooh

要讲你知你的意义
每当我的心肝跳一次
没法子难制止
你是血液渗于我每一处
要讲你知我的故事
这一秒即使心再不跳
在记忆潜意识
爱是已在心中永世不变

光阴可以瞬间转数十年
生死起跌也知不会幸免
当中只有爱的感觉未曾变

Zero Motivation.

Hmm...tests tml and I'm still not really done studying? Juz don't feel like studying and sitting down staring at the notes with nothing going in doesn't seem to help at all. =x Wassup man. Juz feel like doing absolutely nothing and juz stone around.

Zero.

Arrg...sux. This cannot go on anymore...I need to find the keys to start the engine again. =(

Food for thought.

Good things happen when you least expect it.

How true is that? Sometimes when you really need something (keys, books, etc), they juz never seem to be anywhere in sight. Yet when you're not thinking about them, they juz quietly appear before you. Sounds familiar? Hah.

Someone told me that love works this way too. There's no need to learn about advices, tips or skills to find love. There more you seek it, the more it tries to elude from you. Yet, when you give up searching for it all together, someone would juz appear quietly into your life.

Different schools of thought, I guess. Some say that with perserverence, you'll move the one you love with sincerity. Some say love is unconditional, as long as she's happy. Some say, juz play around and be happy. Some say.

Maybe love is too overly emphasised in this society. The perfect picture, the romantic settings and the happy ending. Perhaps admist the chaotic reality, everyone is juz hoping for a little fairy tale story of their own. HAppily ever after. Not. Thats why Cinderella ended upon the marriage. Wait till you experience the after marriage life.