Early in the morning Ms Postman came knocking on my door and said,"Is this person living here?"

"Yea that's me."

Traffic Police.
Date of Bday : 05 Feb 1986
Date of Issure : 05 Feb 2008

Wahahaha! My license! Same date of issue as my bday. Song bo, must be lucky lucky. Hehe. Somewhat think I managed to psycho-ed my mum in my decision (sooner or later) to get a bike. Can feel that the resistance is not that strong anymore, though she's still not supportive of it. =S Hmmm...browsing through the forums selling 2nd (or 3rd, 4th...) hand bikes. Honda Phantom TA150 looks good and the lowest sellin price is $1200. Hmmm...quite affordable. Must check with the more pro bikers and see if they got any lobangs. (hey CS, talkin about u!) Haha.

Hmmm...still not very productive with studying. Think I spend more time with my eyes closed than awake today. =/ Managed to finish one of my assignment. 1 more lab report and soci essay to go. =D

Hmmm...today wasn't very productive. Finished Masteringphysics (for once) on time and did some revision. The bare minimum. Think I spent more time on my guitar than on my books. Haha. Feeling more "smooth" at changing chords and strumming the simple song my teach asked me to practice on the first lesson. Kinda got the hang of playing the intro part of 晴天 but still not sure of the rhythm of strumming the verse and the chorus part. Hmmm...sht...why did I forget that??? =X Nvm...shall listen to the song and try to pick up from there. =))

Learnt to play 晴天 during lesson juz now. Was still having some difficulty changing chords. Hmm.. Guess I needed more practice.

Went to watch "L change the World" after guitar lesson. Was a great show that shouldn't be missed I guess. Still funny watching how L was lost trying to handle kids and when he tried to stood up straight. Haha... Yet, it's still a sad show I guess. At least I feel damn low after the show. Sad that L's gonna die and especially at the last part when he said he wished to live longer coz somewhat, he had experienced happiness thru the 2 kids during his last few days.

"No matter how gifted you are, you alone cannot change the world. This is the wonderful part of the world." - L

Sometimes I wonder what's up with me and watching shows. Especially sad shows. I juz feel more than what an audience should. All the shows that others deemed as stupid or not interesting, somewhat I can connect to them. Ha..Maybe juz glad that jh didn't want to watch the show with me coz I guess, my emotions were all over the face when it ended.

Maybe I juz don't want others to see how I feel. Alone. It's good. Makes me more appreciative of the people around me I guess. If I knew my death was coming, I would use the remaining days and secretly make the person I feel for happy. Then find a quiet place and die. Would be a nice ending for my life. Ha..still feeling the aftermath of the show. =/

Sorry back there about the full of zest crap that I wrote. Naive thoughts.

Once again it's me, myself and jianhong. Keep the distance and strength the fortress.

最后我还是选择武装自己，强化我软弱的心。

Depressed.

Remembered the times when I'm juz a fk-ed up boy in JC who jz doesn't really give a sht about study but somewhat always managed to pull off with a decent result with some last minute hardwork. Now, trying to be a better man by having a more consistant work ethic but somewhat, I juz seems to be getting bullsht results. Fuk. Makes me wonder at (lots of) times whether I'm cut to do this area at all give my (basically non-existence) foundation in maths and Physics. All I know are how some basic superficial stuffs and the weird craps.

Low morale.

Been a while since I played bball. No more Friday bball in school coz Friday juz became the non-official day for me and boon and jun to help me prep for any stuffs for Sat activities. Sunday bball somewhat disappeared along with the Friday one. Used to remember no matter how miserable I felt with anything, a nice session at the court would somewhat work things out. Juz my trusty old pal who never fail to be there for me. Maybe I should juz go shoot some hoops this weekend.

Self doubt.

Another aspect that makes me feel stupid most of the time - love. Why does your brain starts to go haywire and do things out of your way specially for that someone? What's the point when hardwork doesn't really matter (at all) in this area especially? If the girl likes you, somewhat she'll gravitate towards you without you doing anything. If she doesn't, there's no point in trying coz only in very rare cases, RARE, that sincerity actually has an effect to change her feelings towards you. Yet I always hope for that rare opportunity might juz drop from the sky if I did try.

Juz wanted to connect with someone on a deeper level. Even an aquarian feels tired for having too much freedom and wondering about too much. There isn't a castle behind those heavily fortified walls, but juz ruins everywhere. Accepting solitude with myself and yet at the same time, fighting hard to keep that remaining sociable self. Maybe I'm really starting to have a split personality. It's still best not to move too close to someone. Keep a distance least I should ever feel anything. 反正自作多情是我的看家本领...

There's no black or white. Juz different shades of grey.

1st Guitar Lesson is fun! Hoh. Although was juz learning the basic cords and some warm-up exercse, IT'S FUN! Hehe. Managed to cover 2 lessons of chords and learnt the bar chord, which was like freaking hard to press. Juz couldn't get it right. Crap. The only one that I couldn't master on the spot. =X Alrights...gotta practice everyday liao so that I can get to the pro stage faster. Wahahaha.

*Ouch, my fingers hurts and my left hand's gonna cramp...*

Dreamer.

It's amazing how I can juz sit there and stare into the blank and let my mind wonder off into so many things. All the thoughts juz come 1 by 1 and then go away. Maybe they're all juz temporary thoughts and so, 'everything will be alright after a good night's sleep'.

Maybe I've understood love more than I thought I don't. I understand what they mean when they say that love is unconditional. When you really fall in love with someone, no matter what she did to you or what all the things that has happened, inside you still love her the same. And even when you 2 are not togther, you still love her the same. Even if she's already with someone else, you still love her the same and give her your blessings.

请你保佑我, 她不会比我难过, 我希望她能比我更好过....

......

现在是凌晨三点钟, 喝了点酒头有点痛...

That was last night. Wondering. Letting my mind loose again.

Still lotsa things I can't figure out.

Maybe. I juz need more alcohol to numb my mind.

Alcohol is good. It juz makes all the negative emotions, problems..unhappiness go away....more drinks... =(

Nervous. Scared. Excited. Hopeful. Me.

Hmmm updates.

Went back to M'sia (as I always do) during CNY to celebrate with my Grandma and my father's side. Hmmm...getting more quiet each year as most of my cousins are married and not able to come back. =( But come to think about, there's always new (young and crawling) members added to the family! Haha, had fun playing with my nephews and niece although I really do prefer they call me 'kor kor' (brother) then '舅舅' (uncle) which makes me really old. Hoh, not to mention when a little kid called me '舅公' (granduncle) and my niece gave me ang bao. -_-" Lol. Also, kanna "birded" by the relatives for being "so old" and still taking ang baos instead of giving out. Haha! Wait till I ever get a gf first. Hmmm...pictures...gotta wait. With my sis, upload another day ba.

Always enjoy the much slower pace of life there. Not to mention that I was pia-ing my online assignment the day I'm leaving S'pore and the CNY eve I spent finishin my homeworks that's due on the following monday. Hha. Uni life. Manage to 接财神 this year. Haha. Thx, my mum and sis and grandma, in fact all those who are well versed in this ceremony slept early! So, it's left with me, my dad, my 2 cousins and uncle to settle this. Put my recce skills to use when I located NE looking at the orion belt. (proud) Then, kinda messed up the sequences a bit but still, managed to get the job done. Haha, interesting sia.

Hmmm...nothing much interesting going on in my life as usual, juz the normal hectic and confusing uni life. !!! OH YA. I PASSED MY BIKE TP!!! Yey, song. No need to waste money. Haha. Hello license in 4 weeks time. =DDDD

Oh ya, and not forgetting to thanks the gang for treating me to a meal on my bday. Wanted to treat you all to pool but TOO BAD, no place. Haha. *saves money* Now, it's ah seng's bday tml. HAha. Wait and see what's installed for u. Lol. *exclaimer : not for the faint hearted* Always great to hang out with the old peeps, although we really wished that we have no time for each other. (but have time for someone else) Heh. Rite. Updates till here. Anything I missed out? Tag me. =X