Welcome to the Greenery Land.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Back from fieldcamp, both physically and mentally drained. And of course, the motto of Orion 2 Section 2 is "Tough Men Deserves Tough Training". Haha. Had extremes of weather, hot one moment and raining like shit another. Was drenched thoroughly and shivering while trying to get somemore sleep in my basha coz of the thunderstorm. Sian loh, kanna fever there. Luckily not serious or later I OOC for missing fieldcamp.

Somethings juz like happened and made me realise that I perfer to work alone. Maybe the teamspirit that I've ever felt in NP could never be the same with this platoon. Somewhat juz getting more and more disappointed with some of the people in there and juz getting more and more detached from the people. Haha, hope that I can get posted to some unit where I can juz work alone on a mission. MAybe a racky or scout? Haha. Juz hope things will get better.

I dreamt of this person during fieldcamp once. Someone I used to care for. I don't even know what she means to me now or rather, who am I to her now. Is the presence of love between a man and a woman so important? I've tried not to let myself sink into another love trap by falling for someone else but create this imaginary person and seek a mental support from 'her' instead. Coz everytime when I get really down I always ask myself, " What the hell am I doing all this for? Why not juz put everything down and I'll feel more relaxed..." Juz like I wished a real person would come and say to me, 'she' will come into my mental picture and tell me, "C'mon, you can do it. Take a rest if you're tired but don't sit there forever. You're not alone, I'm always here with you." How wonder the mind can be right? Juz create a mental illusion to decieve itself and making itself more motivated to move on. Mind over body. Also wondered where my heart went coz it has been a long time since I felt its presence. No aches, no warm feeling, no nothing. Perhaps it went away for a breather too. Yup. It's better to be loved than fall in love, coz love hurts. Saw this quote somewhere. Haha. Quite true. But I rather it be not to love and not to be loved. Coz don't hurt others and don't get hurt. Isn't it better? haha......

5:09 PM

An aquarian bumping around in life, discovering what has been installed for him. Still waiting, although he knows...

Words from "Marley and Me".

Was it possible for a dog - any dog, but especially a nutty, wildly uncontrollable one like ours - to point to humans to the things that really mattered in life? I believed it was. Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the things that did not matter, too. A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their colour or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his...

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