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Basketman's Blog
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Monday, June 20, 2005

Alright, going off to SAFTI and stay for 3 weeks in like 6hrs time? Don't really wanna slp so much coz now, time here is precious... =S Today my mood kinda like sucked totally. Haha...maybe it's the pre-"ocs 3 wks confinement" syndrome. =P Feeling better now, after redesigning my blog to slamdunk theme. Need some brighter colours and that stupid face of yingmu to cheer me up and let me be more positive too. Heh. Humm...wonder what it's like inside. Hope things are not as bad and horrifying as heard.

Boon's right. Maybe I really lacked the confidence in myself- my abilities and potential. Perhaps I never really expect that I'll be of somebody big or what. Actually really hope that she's online now so maybe can juz say goodnight? Really think that I'm like an idiot. Don't even know her well, such differing interests and culture, it's like not even possible. Haha. Sometimes, really think that I'm too idealist and dreaming in my fantasy world that I can't differentiate reality and fantasy at times. Perhaps I was always hoping that a miracle could appear which never did. I was never good at expressing what I felt, opening up at what's inside. Somewhat, my gd buddies like boon, they juz seems to know what's going on in me, as in like reading my thoughts. Maybe I too hope that there's this special someone who'll be able to read my thoughts too. Haha. Expressiveness in emotions is certainly not my cup of tea. Maybe when I learn to master this skill of effective communication, I'll get my other half. =D Till then. I'll juz lead an army life. =

12:12 AM