Came back from section fieldcamp on sat and was totally shagged out. Not enough sleep and first time having to carry all those extra load above the FBO, the dummies and the section assets. Not to mention I'm a SAW gunner and my weapon rusted like fuck. Really had a 'good' time cleaning it when I come back, while looking at the SISpec peeps who're posted here book out. Wow, roxy. Kanna CDO duty and so, had to stay back till today morning to book out while the others are already home the night before. Nvm, at least I rested well in the wing line. Haha...but still tired now.

MY head hurts now. The injection that I've got from the doc juz now made me damn drowsy. Oh ya, did I mention I kanna stung by a hornet in tekong? Roxy. Luckily I was cover my neck with my hands while I run and that clown stung my right hand. If not, it would have gotten my neck and who knows, my instructor might be sending a state flag to my home. Haha. Now the whole hand is bloody swollen and my hand cannot close. = Nvm. Juz hope the swelling will go off before my patrol fieldcamp next week. Really hate to go outfield with that big right hand of mine which confirm hinders lotsa things.

My buddy told me that the thought of his gf kept him going on during tough times, like outfield trainings. Me, I don't know. Everytime I wanted to stop or even give up, somewhere in my mind it always tells me to go on, juz a little more. Yet,another part always asked 'for what? is there anything waiting for you at the end?'. Perhaps no. Perhaps I'm juz trying to push my limits and see how far it goes. Perhaps I'm juz trying hard to be someone else I'm not. Someday I might realise that all these are actually worth the effort, or maybe I might juz realise that I'm actually wasting my time. Juz needed a reason.