REalised how little taggies I had and makes me wonder if ppl actually look at my blog. Haha. Watever, it's juz a little space I express my thoughts.

"We are moving into the Valley of the Shadow of Death where you will watch the back of the man next to you, as he will watch yours, and you won't care what colour he is, or by what name he calls GOD. We are going battle against a tough and determined enemy. I can't promise you that I will bring you all home alive. But this I swear...when we go into battle, I'll be the first to step on the field and I'll be the last to step off. And I'll leave no one behind...dead or alive. We will all come home together." -We were Soldiers

Watched this war movie and LTC Hal Moore juz inspired me more to be a good officer, a good commander. To lead by example, to inspire...some of the qualities I really wanna have. Being an officer is really a heavy responsiblility - especially one that concerns lives, sons of other parents.
These people under you are not your puppets, they will be your brother in arms, people who'll fight side by side with you. I don't like the way of the "I'm your superior and so you listen to me" way of leading. I prefer to have a group of people where we trust and work together juz like brothers, knowing that each will watch out for the other. Haha. Perhaps I'm really watching too many movies liao that everything I have the idealistic thought in my head. I'll work my way towards the ideal officer, commander, leader I have in my mind. I will not waste my time in OCS and be comissioned as an officer juz for the sake of the money and one black bar. I wanna change lives. =D

Another thought. I guess most people (guys) will wonder why the *toot* do we have to serve NS and waste our time. For me, I guess it's not wholely to protect this land we called HOME solely. I wanna fight for this land because those people I cared for are here. I fight for them. Yup. Juz don't wanna let them suffer in care of a war eh? Haha...kanna psycho-ed by my PC liao. He's really patriotic towards Singapore though he's not borned here. I must focus my thoughts on army during this NS...

Sidetrack a bit. Haha...same of topic I always had. During this 3 weeks of training, whenever I felt discouraged, felt like giving up, one person juz seems to come to my mind to give me that little mental boost to push on a bit more. I know that she's happy now with her prince charming. Haha. Everytime say that I'll move away from love or whatever crap but actually is no one will fall for a toot like me. I think I juz possess the qualities to be a good friend, an entertainer, an ok guy but not the one that one would consider for a boyfriend. Haha. Well...I kept all those little things she gave and yup...perhaps one day when I become stronger mentally and emotionally, I will walk away from the past, let go of the imaginary 'her' and search for that someone...if only she appears. =)