Humm...things have been going on quite smoothly for me for the time being. Juz when I was going to step down from CPC post, the platoon started to be more together, bonded a bit more closely and people start to think a bit more about the platoon than themselves. Haha...at least when you are working closely with a group of ppl, all the shit that comes to you juz doesn't seems so bad at all. Yup, hope things will really get better. Oh yea, chao sian...Exercise Spade was a disaster. Going to have another one on next Fri coz this one was raining damn heavily, everyone's morale was low, everyone dug not up to the standard and so on. Sian...but, nvm, juz do it loh. Suck thumb. =P

Humm...don't know. Haha. I wonder why but everytime I needed some encouragement or whenever I juz need someone on my mind, she's still the one on my mind. Realised that from that very day things ended and till almost 2 years now, everything still seems to be fresh on my mind. What she likes, all the things she does and juz every little thing. Sigh. Don't understand why I can't juz let go and never look back. But at least, she'll never know how I will feel inside. All I wanted her to presume is that I don't really care. Coz I don't know how to handle my own heart. If one day she's willing to get together again, I don't know what I should do either. Haha. My heart will definitely wanna get back but my mind juz can't give back tt trust. Not to say juz ur loved ones, even if it's my friends (more close ones), I give them 100% of my trust. I juz wanted to believe that if there's something they wanted to tell me or do, I'll fully trust their decisions. Maybe I'm too old fashioned or what but I always thought that when you love someone, you can only give your heart to 1 person only at a time. Sigh...don't know lah. Perhaps she's the one I ever feel so close to. The only female that's reach so close to me, almost till the same level with my close buddies that I wanted to let her inside and let her to all my thoughts but, yup, she left before that. Haha... Think back now, I used to worry about the both of us getting thru the tought NS phase but ironically, things ended way before NS even started. Haha.

Ha...I always said I will move on but yet, even though if I do, I'll still walk back and wait at the same spot, wait a while more, I always thought. Perhaps a while more is juz wat it takes for that little hope in me, for that impossible miracle to happen. I'm still there...waiting for that someone to occupy that space in my heart that's been for her even till now. I'm juz an idiot.