Work like you don't need the money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like you do when nobody's watching...

Saw this words in one of the email I recieved. How often have we forgotten that what we can do, what we feel or what we think is not wholely governed by external factors but we ourselves, have the power to control them.

Throughout these years, find myself often disillusioned by the surrounding occurances, thinking that the way my life is heading, the way I'm feeling right now are being shaped by these happenings. Read books and realised that nope, actually I'm juz letting these things to take over instead of being in control of my own self. I choose my own emotions, yea, being happy, crazy and acting stupid is not a mask I put to cast aside the negative aspects of me. Maybe all along I'm juz learning to let go of the -ve and embrace the +ve. I'm not pretending to be what others would want me to be but I'm juz being the JH I wanna be. Haha. Kinda long to come to a realisation eh?

Decided to follow the fortune teller's prophecy that I'll marry at 38-39. Haha. I know why, coz by that time, I'll be kinda too old? Too old to be actively playin the game I've always loved. Comin to a 10th year anniversary with bball. Remembered the first time I saw MJ played on the court in 1996. Wow, I never knew that such a sport existed, such a player existed. It's like he's a dancer on the dance floor, gliding thru the court with grace and scoring with style and beauty. I never wanted to stop watching him play coz, I never know when the next moment he'll come up with his biggest play. He mesmerised me with his out-of-this world moves.

I love the ball and the court. Somewhat, it became more than juz a game. It became my seclusion admist the chaos. It became a sacred ground for me where I can juz throw away everything that's bothering me and be freed of all worries. Somehow, somewhat, some solutions will answer to some problems at the end of the session. Juz like a long talk with a good old friend, all the dirt will settle down to the floor and the path seems clear once again. Haha. Feelin that old passion burnin up again. Wait till next year...I'll start preparing myself physically and mentally. I'll get into the varsity team. I'll peak myself to the top of my game and perform on the court in the Nationals once again...