omHumm...had that 2 wisdom teeth removed and ouch. Must admit that the pain was bearable but the surgery was a tramuatic experience. Can't feel anything but hearing the drill in my mouth against my tooth and then the pulling and scraping. Oo. Came out of the whole think feeling a bit dazed coz everything happened too fast, too furious. Before I knew it, the doc tada, presented my with my removed assests. =O While in the room to check the blood pressure, I sat down on the sofa reading a magazine and this pretty lady who juz finished her "marvellous journey" like mine sat beside me. The only thing I noticed was that her hands were trembling and close to shaking while holding that new owned prizes. Wanted to be a gentlemen and comfort her but think otherwise coz I can't really open my mouth and charm her with words when the I have to try and stop my own bleeding by bitting the gauze in btw my gums. So, in the end, I juz return to my magazine and leave her to sort things out on her own. Humm...interesting, around 9 hrs from the op but my gums are still bleeding. Is it normal? Remember the nurse said something about going back if the bleeding doesn't seem to stop. Well, I'll wait till tml before making any decision. Juz hope that I don't lose too much blood and yup, during the night as it's so loserly.

Haha. Seriousness for an impression is not my cup of tea. Tried to change but yup, everytime naturally some crap and funny expression or action will juz come involuntary, like a condition response inbuilt inside me. Humm...maybe that's me. Accept it or...suck thumb? =O

For once think I'm gonna make an effort to change. No one takes me seriously anyway. I'll juz let my more serious side take over for the moment.

Been quite bz this 2 wks coz of the ICT. Haha.. Everything went alright for me throughout and the ironical thing is that when we came back from outfield on the last day, I slipped and fell down the stairs after a shower and hurt my lower back there. = Sadded. It definitely hurts.

Humm...sian. Wondering if I'm too easy going that gives others an impression that I'll never get angry or upset? Sometimes I know that they're jokin but it seems that they have no limit to what they're saying and then it becomes a bit overboard. = Pissed.

Thinking. Ouch.

To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don't isolate.

Words from MJ. Wondering. Pondering. Coz something boon said struck me, "What's the point in playing if you ain't scoring?" What basketball have I been playing all these years? Some thoughts. Not meant to target at anyone, anybody but if you feel offended, then tell me loh.

Realised that I've always been disappointing myself coz I ain't fighting for what I desire and sometimes, giving in to those "good values" that I should be having. No one will ask me what I want coz I know, everyone else has their own things to fight for. Love? Don't say loh, I gave it away right before my very own eyes and believed that I did the right thing, although I am never convinced coz there's always this regret lingering. Basketball. Finding myself getting more and more tired playing team basketball as the years passed, especially with the same people. Coz in the back of their mind it's already fixed that "Jh will play the low post and get the rebound." I'm totally ok with that coz everyone has their role to play but like I've said to boon, sometimes I feel too tired to be over-relied. There used to be people like Jun and Seng playing the low post with me but as I've mentioned, when you notice that as the game proceed on, the times when others frequent the low post to get rebounds gets lower and lower and in the end, it'll juz be me. Haha, juz trying to point out that I'm also human, I get physically tired from jumping and boxing out and screening and all that physical stuffs. Maybe everyone is juz concerned about winning and to win is to score and to them rebounds ain't that important? Perhaps ba. Especially getting fighting for rebounds ain't as glamorious as scoring, so no one cares. Opponents gets bigger and stronger along these years and somewhat, I'm still supposed to be that "invincible" under the hoop as I've played in the past. It's hard to ask for help, coz after a while, they come and then they'll eventually revert to original.

Feels good to play with strangers. I'm not bounded by anything. There's no boon to rely on shooting. There's no pressure to play the low post permanently. Like that G2 game, I shoot, penetrate and get rebounds as I liked, I don't have to be that Jh that I'm usually percieved. If we lose, I don't have to worry about others thinking that the rebounder ain't doing his job coz everyone's suppose to fight for the ball. Everyone has a chance to do everything and there are no fixed roles. No one's to blame except me. So I'll start to remedy what I've regretted. I'll train hard to be a more all rounded player. Like MJ said, to succeed, has to be more selfish. Fight for more shooting chance, penetrating chance. Failing and falling is ok, as long as I don't stop trying.

I've always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come. I don't do things half-heartedly. Because I know if I do, then I can expect half-hearted results. - MJ

Watchin "Xian Jian Qi Xia Zhuan" and reading this book on Zen. Humm...kinda have some sense but somewhat not clear forming up in my head. One thing I like in the show, the WAY of Tao is to be found, discovered and walked by each individual. Gaining enlightment is when one experiences something and then learn to let go of it, not because it's not worthy of holding on but...humm...this part I still figuring out. Maybe it's to learn not to be to sturbon on certain things but to be in harmony with everything around us and be one with the surrounding? Juz trying to review all my thoughts and things that I've been longing for? Maybe all along I've juz been solving or looking at the problem on the surface? Juz as to clear the weeds it's useless to juz remove the top leaving behind the roots, which in time will grow back to a weed. Need to find the root cause of the unbalance I'm feeling all along inside and revert everything to that grey scale that I believe in. Haha. Who knows I might really see some truth? =O