Exploring.

Was supposed to go for the Dean's Welcome Talk @ LT27 but when I reach there, it's already kinda past 1/2 and hour and I juz hollan-ed inside the Science Fac compound. So, since I'm already there, juz ventured around to explore the place. Haha, a pretty lady (who happened to be a freshie too) approached me and asked me for directions to Engine Fac. Ha. Showed her to the bus stop and told her which shutter to take. Hmmm...not bad. =D

Well, wondered off to Orchard to the Art Shops that my sis told me about @ Taka. Actually bought a set of watercolour pencils and some other materials. Hmm...the shops are quite cool, considering the humongous amount of art stuffs that they're selling but juz kinda...a bit exp for me. =S Well, let's start drawing!

Hmm...think I'm gonna give Sci Orientation Wk a miss. Suddenly juz don't really feel like interacting with people. Feel so sapped of energy nowadays. Feel so tired that I don't even wanna do anything except get more rest. =X

If it's meant to be, no matter how deliberate you try to avoid it, it'll happen.

If it's not meant to be, no matter how many times or how hard you try, it'll never work out.

The desire for Love.

Every now and then I find myself trying to chat with some online whom I wanted to know more.

Every now and then I find myself talking to myself instead.

Every now and then I find myself trying to chat with them again and again even though they never really did even replied once for the past few attempts.

Stupid. Dumb. Idiot. Prideless.

Pride. They always say you can't eat Pride for a mean, so why have so much of it? WRONG. Even if you're SHIT, CRAP, PENNILESS, POOR or WHATEVER CRAP, Pride will be the only thing that you'll truely own.

Love. It's juz a feeling. A "logical" reason humans come up with and "rationalise" to differentiate the same mating process from other animals. I admit I feel the desire to fall in love emotionally with someone. To experience more and again of a nice feeling I once felt before. Yet I realise that sometimes, there's more negative feelings than positive ones that I've experienced so far, at least that's what I felt. Made me feel like a prideless desperado at times. NO. I'll juz adjust my own standards higher up again. At least I can find a stand to keep my heart @ bay - coz they juz ain't good enough.

Updates.

On the juz passed Sat, the group of 5 - Ben (the supposed star of the day), Boon, Jun, Js and me went for an almost 1 day event to sorta welcome the UK boy (benji) back home. Went skating in the afternoon and woh, it's really since a long time I've skated. Nevertheless, quite fun to glide on the ice and enjoy seeing classic falling scenes. Haha, managed to help 2 ladies up on their skates when they juz happened to fall beside me.

Well that's me and Ben. Wow, balancing on skates! Applause please! =D


Well...that's Jun before entering the ring. Ermm..he looked like he got punched in the face after his marvellous fall for not concentrating (must be looking @ some girls). Haha.


After which, we got too shag (and our legs ached) and so, zao-ed. Decided on dining @ VivoCity coz Benji haven't really been there after hearing so much wonders about the place. So, along the ride on the train, Jun discovered that his forearms are finally bigger than Seng's. So yea, the picture speaks it all.

Riding is FUN!

Hoh, had my first bike practical lesson @ BBDC and cool, it's juz shiok. Always think that driving something that moves on it's own is cool. Hahah. So practiced riding and braking and the static drills. Can't wait for the next lesson when we're doing GEAR CHANGING! Yea! Quite happy to be there coz the instuctors are juz damn crappy, funny and friendly. Lol. Not those bin-chao-chao (face smelly smelly) types that I've always had an impression of. =D

Somewhat taking on this bike course was like totally...unexpected. Was always talking and talking and talking but not doing. This time I actually juz heck whatever crap there is and go registered for it. Yup. It's juz like I've not been held back by anything (like my parents) and do something that I liked and enjoyed.

So many times I guess I've juz tried to be that "perfect person" that people around me percieve and expect me to be. Be it consciously or sub-consciously. Breaking these restrains one by one. Why always be afraid to venture into an unknown juz coz it's not the route where the majority goes? Whether or not I follow the norm or not, I'm still the one to be answer for any consquences that might result from the action. Juz like I tried to be the "perfect person" I percieve myself to be to someone I'll feel for but I'm not. Sometimes trying too hard to be someone I ain't is tiring and hard. I'll juz be myself, and follow where my heart and soul takes me.

And the wolf howls again to the moon.

Last Day @ work. Hmm...having a feeling that I'll be going back to work again soon...esp when others have no time for me, and I've too much time at hand apart from studying. Yea.

Juz glad that I never did any crap that I wanted to do. It's juz best to pretend that I'm emotionless for my feelings are not worth the appreciation.

Brotherhood

Guess this entry is more like for a brother of mine going overseas. He is Zherui. A friend, a section mate, a G-grouper, a chiongster, an alcoholic, a person who dare to love and hate, a person who always tries to impart me his screwed logics. He is my brother-in-arms.

Had a little sub-section 1 outing (minus RJ whos' always MIA, Kungzi who's away in Austie and Ang who's probably f-king the cadets in OCS) @ a nice Greek Cuisine Restaurant. Well, it's more like a farewell gathering for ZR who's gonna fly away to US on LLS (Lao Bei & Lao Bu Scholarship), so most probably unless he has spare cash (if not spent on Alcohol, drugs, women and drugs @ the States), he'll not be coming back to homeland for quite some time.

ZR. Come to think about it. He's one person I own for surviving in OCS. Too bad we ain't bunkmates for I know we'll have a hell load of crap if we're. Haha. All the ideas of ways to not get commission the day b4 the parade, of how it would be better and more zai to pass out as a Warrent Officer. How we always talk loads of crap, walk either as the last or the front during movement, sag stupid impromtu crappy cheers during route marches and how we even bothered to write stupid songs before that juz to sing during route marches! (Chewy told Robin not to go downtown...) And the one incident that this ass loves to remind me about - how I strapped the LAW tube to his and my SBO that we have to bear the extra weight while the whole platoon face the floor.

Looking back @ some of the photos. Brotherhood. A special bond between Men. Something that's unique to us that women won't understand. Something that no words could describe it. Although I must admit sometimes I don't get the intellectual conversation of ZR, Russ and Kenneth, I still feel part of the group. A strong bond forged through sweat, crap, blood, tough times, bad times, good times and book out times. If I were to look back now, the thing that I would miss most is still the times that we shared in OCS. Not much worries except for things to earn us extras and confinements and most importantly, when's our next book out timing.

Guess this entry only will mean something to few. It's not the result that's worth mentioning, but the process that's worth remembering.

Bravo Wing 60/05 OCC, Platoon 2 Section 1. A special section.

From Jun. Bored. Pass time.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY ?:
Have You Ever? - S Club 7
Ermmm...something like "Have you ever blah blah blah this before so you think if it's ok if you're in my shoes? Huh? Yea? No Words? Think that was funnny? Huh???"

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?:
Get High - F.I.R
Wow...a bit...coincidental? Hmm...still able to entertain myself and get little "highs" here and there to get my spirits up. In fact, there's so many things in life that's around up to get about! Juz that we're always looking for the "Big Highs" that we failed to realise that the "small highs" are juz as good! =)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?:
简单爱 - 周杰伦
A simple love. I like it when things are simple. Actually like Jun, I also don't know what's my type of girl coz somewhat somehow, there's this trait in them that always subconsciously trigger my "gut instincts" and attract me to them but yup, if only I possess the distinctively qualities that they're looking for too, then things would be much more simpler right?

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?:
让我照顾你 - Mayday
Let me look after you? Haha, maybe that's what I feel everyday! To have someone you have to look after, protect, care about, shower love, etc. That's what a man is here for right? Or maybe not. =( Nowadays the women are too independent and strong that I guess, men are slowly being phased out. =((

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?:
I'm in love - Glay
Errmmm...to be in love? Loving someone is easy, especially if it's one-sided. Sometimes it really takes lots of perserverance, courage, a huge capacity for disappointment, a little tinkle of hope burning and that unconditional love to endure through a one-sided relationship. Being in love is all about a balance of loving and being loved. Well, don't ask me, I'm no guru in love. =

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?:
情人 - 杜德伟
Oh crap. What's up with all these songs. Lover. So my purpose here is to be a lover? Haha. That's a good one except that I'm already collecting dust away on the shelf at a corner of the shop. HELLO THERE! OVER HERE! *waves*

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?:
I Still Believe - Gary & Vivian
Hmm, I believe in lotsa things that people don't. Believing in winning when chances are slim. Believing in love when all seems so cold. Believing in people when they don't deserve it. Believing that everyday is a better day. Believing. I mean, if one day I stop believing, that means I stop hoping. If there's no hope, then there's no point in carrying on in life isn't it?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?:
Dreaming of you - Selena
Bleachx, so how am I suppose to come up with this one? Maybe I dream of them having a good retired lifestyle so that means...I've gotta work hard for mine and their future! Lol.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?:
是你决定我的伤心 - 张玉华 & 李圣杰
Well, someone used to decide on my sadness, able to bring my emotions down to the lowest point but, I guess that's all in the past. Never really think about letting anyone decide my sadness or happiness coz it'll take lots of perserverance and determination for that someone to come and try pry open the doors to my world. =X

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIES?:
眼底星空 - 李圣杰
So they're the stars in the sky? =X Perhaps they're one of the little hopes in my life that keeps me going at times. So that's why the Graywolf howl to the moon and stars @ night?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
华人万岁 - 王力宏
LONG LIVE THE CHINESE! Haha, I do certainly prefer Chinese girls that other races. Haha. Think they're more demure, innocent, cute, blah, blah, blah...

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?:
Loony Tunes - Warner Bros
LOL. Think I'm gonna be a bit loony and crazy when I face things in life. There's no point in being Mr-All-That-Serious. What's the fun in that? What a boring life. Having and searching for all the little funs all around to spice up my life!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?:
Slam Dunk Theme Song
For my love of the game? Haha. I would think it'll be a suitable song for the next question but..yea. Perhaps plus a couple of Jordan posters and jerseys and maybe some photos of me dunking or some fadeaways...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?:
Tired - Matchbox Twenty
Hmmm...true for the time being. Tired of a lot of things now that I don't know what's really my hobby or interest. Maybe it's the routine work that ain't suitable for an Aquarian soul. Haha, that's why I'm gonna try a hell lot of new stuffs!

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?:
You should be Dancing - Bee Gees
Haha! Dancing is perhaps one of my fears, esp in front of people. My body ain't that wavy and flexi to challenge the moves on the dance floor. Maybe some Kung-Zi's robot moves still alright for me. =P

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?:
Lady Rain - Indecent Obsession
That's like no link but I'll come up with one. (Coz I'm from Greenlink) Secret ah...Lady. Rain. Run. Embrace. Cold. Shivering. Warmth. Love. Let you imagination run wild! =S

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?:
一首簡單的歌 - 王力宏
A simple song? Maybe. Haha. Still simple and pure yet tainted by the evils and temptations of the society. Haha. NOT YET.

WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU POST?:
斗牛 - 周杰伦
Yea, 1 on 1 anyone? Gimme a call and come to my court and let's have some fun!

Learning new things.

Some many things @ hand to learn and do...

1. Motorbike starting this Fri
2. Guitar (tried tuning my sis's guitar and IT'S HARD)
3. Revise my Physics stuffs
4. Tai Chi (to help relax my mind and body)
5. Way of happiness like a doggie (Practicing the pointers I read in the Book)
6. Shoot more hoops

Hmmm, still trying not to sweat on small stuffs (or anything at all) coz ultimately it's over. Focusing too much on the downside will make me miss the little joys and happiness along the way that's much more worth rejoying for. Haha. Sometimes it's good to be simple like the animals. Barking like a dog can relieve some stress too! =D Haha, but please do it discretly..

Back to the Game.

Hmm...realised how tiring it is to play with tall and skilled players. Especially when I lose in skills and jumping reach, then gone case... Gotta learn the way of the short man - 101 Dummies Guide to score while being short. Speed, stamina and strength all dropping rapidly sia. Gotta regain them fast...

Think I'll find a nice place with net to shoot tml morning. =)

Sports Camp Day 1

Hmmm...perhaps the initial mood and the reason to attend the camp is juz not there. My OG, juz say that some of the guys are juz too garang and ra-ra and so, I juz let them be the ones to go hyper and stuffs while I take a step back. Guess they're juz trying to impress some of the not bad looking girls in my OG too. Already was feeling quite neutral-to-sian mode during the camp but kinda get the spirits up a bit when trying out the different water games. Then, it's the tele-matches at night that blew it. Tried to be a bit garang and volunteered for a game where it's like 3 aside volleyball but instead, a paper was used and had to be blown over to the opponent side. Was teamed with one of the super garang guy and that's it man. I really don't know to praise him for the enthusiasm or to hate him for his obliviousness to the surrounding. Basically, he's like on a one man show jumping near the net and blowing practical every attempt of the opponent for trying to get the tissue on our side. So, it just happened that the tissue flew to my side and I opened my mouth and about to blow, he jumped from below and headered my lower jaw. The next time I knew, I spat out bits and pieces of parts of my front teeth that's chipped off. FARK. Can juz feel that the balance of my mood was tipped to the extreme side of "SIAN-NESS". Decided to juz skip today's sea activities and go visit the dentist. Don't even know how much it'll cost to fix my teeth. Crap. Talk about a combination of Suay and Sian. Double S Combo.

Looking on the positive side, at least the whole teeth didn't come out or splitted or cracked to beyond repair state. Or maybe it's worth the small misfortune to cover up for a bigger one like something more serious. Crap. Juz feel like booting out of camp. =(
__________

Hmm... Don't know. Think I lost the ability to "self-high". Perhaps only able to show this side of me to the people I know better but as for those whom I juz met, think I seemed "dao" or anti-social. Maybe it's the nature of my job in the army that moulded my char now. Juz like tt loh. It's not like I can't do things on my own. Maybe it's the people around me that triggers of my "garang-ness". Sian. Argg...someone hype my up!