Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Had quite a little sms conversation with her today. Maybe was juz glad that I got to know more about her, what's going on. Sometimes the more I know, the more I seems to have fallen deeper but yet, my rational mind juz keeps me at bay. Age is not of the matter, like Jun used to say. I never really believed it till maybe when I realise that the right one could have already appeared? Yet, knowing that there's another man walking into her life...makes me even more rational. Maybe she's the only woman who thinks that I'm a great guy while many other thinks otherwise. Or maybe they're juz polite comments. Maybe it because she appreciates the cakes that I've made. Maybe it because I could talk so freely and with ease with her face to face. Maybe it's juz all the little things about her that makes her special. Maybe. 爱你不是因为你的美而已... If she gets married, and if she don't mind, I'll really go sing "Forever Love" for her during her wedding. Hah.. Sometimes I really wonder what's wrong with me. My heart feels for the wrong person all the time. And sometimes it's frustrating to know that and yet still feel for that someone. Perhaps I'm juz disillusioned. The relationship with V still haunts me till now. Knowing that in the world of love effort, hard work, all the things dun really matter except feeling. Trusting so much in exchange for a sorry. Knowing that I've given up all my pride in exchange for another chance. Knowing that it's 4 years and counting. Knowing that I juz need someone to make me trust again. Knowing that all I hope that she'll gently come by and quietly sit by me and be there with me for the rest of my journey. I don't need big surprises but someone to be there. Time. Time didn't heal the wounds. It made me accept that they're part of my life. It makes my heart fragile and my defense stronger. It makes me weak. Right now, I guess I'll still...not do anything ba. Haha.. She'll be my good friend and I juz make sure that she's fine and happy. Hope..she finds her happiness soon...
10:13 PM
