Juz watched Fearless. Must say that it's really an excellent show. It brought out the true meaning of martial arts. To reach that state like Huo Yuan Jia must really take lotsa discipline and self-control - the way of a true master. Another take away from the show is that most of the time, our greatest enemy is our own self. each decision we make, everything we do everyday, we're fighting an inner war. Whether the choice is good or bad, in the end we have to bear the consquences.

Juz lived 20 years of my life. 20 years, sounds little but to me, it's 2 decades. Don't even know what I've really accomplished in life till now. Maybe it's good to stay forgotten, to juz be in the background and to be someone that no one will clearly remember coz there'll be no expectation, no judgements, no disappointments. As I grow older, seems to live this supposedly special day like any other day coz somewhat I realise like the person that goes with it, it ain't much of any special at all. Perhaps all I can look forward to is being gagged and cable-tied and then striped while enjoying all the good stuffs poured all over me when I book in tomorrow. Haha, life as an army boy. Don't know. Still looking for that purpose in my life. Still searching for something special about me. Trying to convince myself that I gotta be unique in some way, at least to someone. Maybe not. I don't know and guess I won't know any sooner either.

Perhaps you're the only person whom I hoped so much to juz wish me a "Happy Birthday". Guess you don't know and won't ever will. Sometimes I wish I have more courage, to go on despite all the doubts or to give up and walk away. Don't wanna stay in this half-half situation where I juz don't know what I want. Maybe...I don't know what else to do except smile. =)